to be a master render-er

A quick thought - I spent a good half of yesterday reading through a V-Ray for Rhino tutorial, and just by familiarizing myself with the settings and all that, I could make renderings look like the photo above. CRAZY! Except, I'd want to do that for renderings of interiors and buildings and such. So my current goal is to be a better Rhino modeler, renderer, and designer. Whew!

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I'm in my fourth year of college, with one more year to go, and I haven't found a niche or a comfortable group of friends to hang out with or depend on. But since that's the way it was for me in high school, I've come to realize I'm okay with it. I'm fortunate to have at least found a few solid individuals to build lasting relationships with so there's nothing more I could ask for. From the get-go I didn't fit in with the super-studious, uber-arch nerd types, nor the hip, last-minute, partying-hard then pulling some quick bullshit kids. I fall somewhere in the middle, the 'other' and/or somewhere off to the side. Four of the people I considered my greatest friends within the architecture school all dropped out after some time - I wonder if that should be a big flashing sign - but then again, one came back!

Most of the people I have become friends with thus far in college have little in common with one another, but something I can say about all of them is that they're real. They're not caught up with crafting their images - I mean they're still searching for who they are, sure, but without excessive drama, cynicism or self-centeredness. They're all passionate about something, hard-working and headstrong. I learn so much from every one of them, and best of all I do so while enjoying their company.

So in short, I like the structure of my friendship circles, and there is nothing I would do to forcibly change that. I like being a lone wolf who in reality isn't alone at all.

more bright stars

This is my current desktop background of the star Rigel alongside the Witch Head Nebula in the constellation Orion. Squeezing it into a little box here barely does it any justice, and letting it fill up my entire screen is still but a meager substitute for seeing or being amongst those actual stars in space. That's okay, I like being able to dream.

image from APOD.

Bright Star (2009)

Bright Star, would I were steadfast as thou art -

Not in lone splendour hung aloft the night,

And watching, with eternal lids apart,

Like Nature’s patient sleepless Eremite,

The moving waters at their priestlike task

Of pure ablution round earth’s human shores,

Or gazing on the new soft-fallen mask

Of snow upon the mountains and the moors-

No-yet still steadfast, still unchangeable,

Pillow’d upon my fair love’s ripening breast,

To feel for ever its soft fall and swell,

Awake for ever in a sweet unrest,

Still, still to hear her tender-taken breath,

And so live ever-or else swoon to death.

- John Keats, 1819

Otto; or Up With Dead People (2008)

The story of Otto, a young zombie experiencing an identity crisis. In trying to figure out who he was before he died/became undead, he meets Medea, a woman obsessed with death who casts him in her film "Up With Dead People" - her political and social commentary on the 'new' breed of queer zombies struggling in the contemporary world. I didn't care so much for the 'erotic' scenes, as they were gratuitous and didn't add much to the story line, but this was an existential and fresh take on the zombie genre, and pretty entertaining.

wise words

I tend to be bad at saving money...I wouldn't say I'm a frivolous spender, just sometimes careless - I use my credit card too often. So the other day I was talking about collecting unusual glass bottles/what have you and my mom said 'You know what you should collect instead? Money!' Truer words could not have been spoken as humorously in that situation so I've finally taken it to heart and now I am very serious that I tone down my spending habits, spend smarter, and begin saving. It is a habit that will benefit anyone greatly once they become financially independent. It's time to grow up in that aspect and realize there won't always be someone to bail me out when I am in need. Thanks Mom...!

someday I'll live in a land of green skyscrapers

One last random thought before sleep: The way sunlight looks when it's streaming in through bright green leaves is like a shining beacon, a reminder that life exists because of the sun. When I was younger I wanted to be a bug or a fairy that would live in a city of giant verdant umbrellas, feathery whorls of enormous skyscrapers, I'd play all day in the "jungles" of the garden and at night fall sound asleep in silky-soft silvery leaves... I love plants, the sun and I've secretly always wanted to be a wild child running around barefoot in the forest with my very own spectacular treehouse hidden in the canopy to sneak away to when I'm feeling tired.

Fido (2006)

Nothing like a good zombie movie (with Billy Connolly as the eponymous star!), set in the 1950s to end the day after a long day at work!

watcher watcher watcher

A funny little sculpture my sister's friend Kenny made; it kept me company while I was brainstorming Holocaust memorial ideas yesterday. The first one in my mind says "HEY! You better be working right now/Get back to work!" The second one says "You've been working hard!/You can take a break now" And the third one would say something like "You've procrastinated to the point of no return." I hope to encounter the last face very, very rarely, hehe.

djer kiss

Off to spend a morning at the Rose Bowl Flea Market with my mom and my sister, but first - a sweet little makeup compact my sister and I spotted at the PCC Flea last week. Such beautiful details, no? One of many things I find myself wanting, but wouldn't know what to do with once I get it. Be back later!

all you need.

I tried to think of a poem, a quote, something, to sum up "love" but information overload and indecision made me think back to a universal truth uttered by the Beatles - "All you need is love; love is all you need." So love, love, love.

plan C: the Standard

This is the Portobello 'Burger' from The Standard...

Today I was supposed to go to the LA FoodFest downtown, but when we got there the line was something like 2 or 3 miles long! Starting at the entrance, looping through a giant parking lot, going past two or three blocks, winding around the corner and clearing far out north - we never even got to see the end of the line. 45 minutes to one hour wait time to get inside, plus more lines for each food truck inside? I'm patient but I have my limits. I told some people not to even try because it wouldn't be worth the wait (and wouldn't the trucks run out of food...?) and so we ventured out to Bottega Louie's to try to get lunch, but obviously with the runoff from the FoodFest line, that was a near-impossible attempt as well. So as a last resort we went to the Standard where, in the past I really enjoyed eating at, but today's service was terrible which didn't help my feelings of defeat. The burger was alright, nicely toasted buns and generously thick slices of tomato, a hearty slice of cheese, but it could have used another layer or two of portobello mushrooms. So today was not the best day for food, but I still had a nice adventure walking around and around downtown.

oden/odeng

On one of the rainy days last week my mom declared it was perfect oden weather! Oden (odeng in Korean) is a Japanese dish of vegetables and fish cake in a hot dashi broth, sooo good! It warms you to the core, is healthy and filling, and fun & easy to prepare! Can you tell I'm in need of a midnight snack, but curbing the desire by talking about food instead? To bed now, because tomorrow is going to be a busy Saturday...

blink and you might miss it

Some shots from the PCC flea this past Sunday. Whenever I feel guilty about spending money on a ring I don't need or a wool cardigan I 'have' to have, I decide to satiate my lust for the object by taking a picture of it instead. The saying 'take a picture, it'll last longer,' is so true. It satisfies my desire for something by reminding me I was there, right next to it, within hands reach, but didn't actually walk away with it. There's a voyeuristic quality to photography that I cherish and despise all at once, it's hard to describe. Sacrifice the integrity (?) of a moment by preserving a second of it? Yes, I find this justifiable. More on that at another time when I'm not so sleepy, maybe.

kick back & relax

One last photo from my sister's project, hehe. This week was pretty hectic, what with the storm on Tuesday, yelling at kids in my mom's art classes, walking my dogs at odd times to avoid downpours etc., starting work, and running around L.A. today! Whew. After work yesterday I didn't even bother to pull out my computer and do my usual 'nerding.' Instead I sat down for dinner with my mom, played with my dogs for a little bit, and eschewed watching a movie to turn in early instead.

Tonight my sister and I ventured out to the fringes of South Pasadena to go check out a gallery opening, but after 5 minutes of suffocating and not moving in a tiny gallery space full of gallery-goers reeking of Pabst and holding sweet cartons of "boxed water", and not being able to see much 'art' we headed out to get some boba instead. Talks in the car and semi-getting lost. An evening well-spent!

work + play

Thursday was my first day of work! I arrived the same time as my boss (whom I had as a studio instructor two years ago) in the heart of K-town and we spent most of the time setting up network connections/etc. and I did research for prospective architecture competitions to enter. The space is shared with another professor/architect on the 9th floor of a big old building - there are tons of windows and therefore lots of natural light; to the north we can see the Hollywood sign and to the east big flashy billboards and advertisements, haha. There are about 1,000 books of architecture, philosophy and design in there too, and as long as I don't take any out of the office I am free to read and browse through any of them. So. cool. It's going to be a lot of work, and maybe not much pay but it beats sitting around stagnating.

'mom' ramen

This may not look delicious, but knowing that my mom set off to make a bowl of quick ramen for me and her, but finding only one package of the good spicy kind, quickly mixed it with a regular package, throwing in spinach and eggs and deliciousness to make the meal more wholesome, is what makes this so special. Thanks Mom!

She was amused that I took a quick snapshot of this before digging in, saying "Hehe, you take pictures of 'nothing.'" but when I jokingly told her "If it's food, it's something." she laughed and nodded.

mmmcavoy...

Happy Hump Day! These are a few out-takes of James McAvoy from the March 2010 issue of Nylon Guys. They're better than the ones that made the cut, in my opinion. He has a weird hipster look and ginger beard going on, but the first one's 'cause of the stylists and the second... genetics! Anyway, this man is the sole reason I still bother to go to the movies, kind of. I'm happy because I start work tomorrow, finally. Hooray!

images found on scottish actors via Nylon Guys.

10: kick ass

requisite footwear

Her favorite pair of combat boots - first thing to put on in the morning (but not really).

So I said I would post all twenty of the photos for this series, but I think ten will suffice. Maybe I'll put up another one at a later date, but half is a sizable chunk, and a little more than my attention span can handle. Also, my sister's project was very, very well received. Victorious!

hailstones

There was a great big storm today, and it raged for maybe an hour, with thunder crashing, lightning flashing and rain driving in all directions, as well as a smattering of hailstones, which I was able to snap a few of on my back porch. It was all very heavy and intense.

It was probably the storm then, that drained me of my energy and nudged me into an off-color sort of day. I went into a bit of a forced seclusion, staying up in my room tidying up, rearranging items, arranging stacks of books to read, doodling & planning the rest of my week and weekend. My two dogs, having nothing better to do, came up and made themselves comfortable on my bed and we spent a relatively quiet day together. Going into my second month of a break from school has made me creative in thinking up ways to stay busy without a job, but I will be starting work on Thursday, finally! So the days I have to myself will soon become something to look forward to again. Change is good and welcomed.

9: pay attention

Panic Room

What inspires you to the highest? Black & white, light & shadow, positive and negative. Subtle patterns and shifting shapes. Illumination or the darkest depths of the soul. Inspiration is ever-changing.

knitting away

I started this muffler my freshman year of college - cranberry CARDINAL and gold for my school, though I've only gone to one game my entire college career (I have one more year though - redemption?) and I'm determined to finally finish it. My short attention span for projects never really bothered me, but it's a trait that seems to scream a lack of responsibility and maturity, so I'm determined to finish this knitting project. In a corny way, by the time I finish this scarf, perhaps I will have grown a little bit more as a person, and it will be physical proof of my doing so.

Up (2009)

UP has all the perfect Pixar elements - an amazing title/beginning sequence, the grumpy old man looking to fulfill a lifelong dream. the eager optimistic young 'un at attention and ready to please, pleasant, cute & furry/feathery anthropomorphic critters, a nuanced/misunderstood/delusional villain, it tugs at your heart strings and tickles your funny bone all at the right parts. Scenes are breathtaking and characters perfectly designed, etc. Definitely best animated feature material, but if it's considered a contender to be 'Best Picture' I can't help but think of ones like the Lion King and Beauty and the Beast being robbed of the opportunity (well, Beauty and the Beast was nominated for Best Picture back then)... what am I saying? It's late, I'm tired, UP was fan-freakin'-tastic.

8: stand out

Usugrow: Love & Hate

Drawing inspiration from anything and everything. We wanted this little black book to catch the eye, so we stuck it in a sea of white spines.

7: apply gently

Chanel blush, originally mom's

Making the apples in her cheeks even rosier. I like the shape of the compact - how it's a square, but rounded out slightly, just enough to be whimsical but still sophisticated. I think that's the way I would describe Chanel overall - sophisticated and classy, with a touch of playful whimsy.