the little things

On a day to day basis I blog about little things - purchases, flowers that catch my eye, snippets of an outing. Overall they aren't such a big deal, but for a day or two they are. Then I go on - I keep seeing new flowers, keep finding and reporting on amusing things. Such is life, all the little things are what build the bigger picture, and oftentimes the little things make me happy!

For the past few weeks I've unconsciously been focusing on little things that take me backward instead of forward. Paranoia at having lost or ruined friendships, fear of having acted in a manner that offended someone, anxiety at not being social enough with certain people. I have unwittingly been stressing myself out at anything and everything, but with no outlet, grind my teeth in my sleep and have anxious dreams. But a recent series of events - spending a day with my boyfriend at a beach house, seeing a good old friend and just letting things flow naturally, walking my dogs with my sister and talking at length, has restored an inner peace that I always need to keep in check. Because I'm so details-oriented I tend to freak out very easily, so a part of me has to get metaphysical and keep checking in with the big picture.

Perhaps my long break from school has gotten me restless, so maybe I'm looking to find ways to artificially create anxiety, but that is so unhealthy! I don't know why I am this way, but being positive, being around people with good attitudes and being creative relieves this gross weight! I have to stay on track and fight the pettiness and ridiculosity!