Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts

Friday, January 31, 2014

down, but not out

This year has been a doozy so far, and even on the last day of the month I feel like I'm running on vapors. It's been a hell of a time with a bum foot, trying not to go stir crazy staying off it, then hobbling around once the swelling and bruising goes down. Slowly but surely it's on the mend, after the first two weeks of full ice baths, lots of Advil every day and elevating/staying off it.

Other notable "injuries" have been in the vein of relationships - ones that need pruning, fertilization, elimination. There really comes a time when you notice you've outgrown a person, and depending on the wants and needs of each party, and how the overall dynamic is, you begin to realize what steps need to be taken to continue on or part ways in the best manner. Sacrificing your own feelings of contentment or happiness for the sake of another is never acceptable once it starts to go only one way. For friendships, romantic relationships, professional relationships. Never go out of your way for anyone unless you know it is really being appreciated. I could go on, but for the sake of toning down a rant/lecture that no one wants to hear, I will keep it at that. Know your worth and your limits, know your weaknesses, work on improving those lesser qualities, and be good to yourself.

Happy New Year.

Monday, December 31, 2012

2012

January began ambiguously, with lots of confusion and question marks hovering in my mind; I can confidently say "ambiguous" was the operative word of the year for me (and some, if not many others...). 

February was stranger still - my position at a small design-build firm slowly dissolved and I found myself working more frequent hours at Trader Joe's and wondering what to do next.

In March I ran away for several days to the Pacific Northwest with J, and the change of environment helped clear my mind of the fog that had accumulated over the past 6+ months. Viewing awe-inspiring architecture while traversing Seattle and Portland, eating richly with a lady with fine taste, and being out of Los Angeles for a bit gave me a renewed sense of vitality upon the return home. 

April was a time for new beginnings, though to be fair new beginnings are constantly rumbling, shifting, and appearing and are not by any means a static mass that drop out of nowhere to surprise/delight/shock you. I made a point to travel to local sights that had been on my list of "places to visit" for a LONG time. I also won my dream road bike off of eBay and started riding my bike to work and all around town. 

In May my friendship with A grew and deepened, and when not working at TJ's, we'd ride our bikes, go on hikes, have impromptu picnics, and lots of food adventures. It felt great to connect with a person on so many different levels; how wonderful it is to be so similar yet so different from somebody! 

In June I went to Wyoming with L, saw some of the most amazing things I have seen in nature thus far, and upon trip's end, hit the ground running at a new job. I said goodbye to Trader Joe's, which even now I still miss. 

In July, construction of a big project at work started, and I began heavily documenting every movement of the job site. Being paid to take photos is really a wonderful thing... 

August was mostly about overcoming the learning curve at work and finally having the ability to contribute more to the team. I visited A in Berkeley. 

September - I made a new friend who serendipitously became one to make art with, and started drawing more to keep away the empty feelings and confusion. 

October was the month my sister and I moved out together. I didn't take very many pictures of anything during this time. I scoured flea markets, Craigslist, and thrift stores to equip our apartment and quickly settled into "new home." 

November the cranes went up, and though I planned on scaling one to see Hollywood/Los Angeles from 150 feet up in the air, I will save that goal for next year. Sister and I adventured more on our own, when time permitted. 

December has been how last January started - ambiguous in ways, though now things are startlingly clear. I have been writing, dreaming, pacing, ruminating and trying to make sense of events that have unfolded. I can only say that for every dozen bad or unsavory things that occur, it is possible to have something good ensue, and that is enough to fuel me on through the utter absurdity of life.

Monday, November 12, 2012

construction details


I am really thankful for my job for the close proximity it affords me to have to such a large and busy construction site! I walk the site maybe once a week, but I am going to have to up it to three times or so to accurately document the flurry of activity that is ongoing. Much of my job has lacked a creative slant to it, it has really just been documentation, observation, and interpretation of information/ideas (which is...slightly creative) but the good thing is that the past several months have been much BUSIER, and I have gotten a better sense of my duties and how I can be useful to the office.

I feel like I haven't had much to say the past few weeks, but those lulls in life are inevitable, so it isn't a big point of 'crisis' like I've made of such silences in the past. And I have been reading again! And generally I've found some more time for myself, which feels like a giant breath of cold, fresh air...so, no complaints here.