the halloween house

I stumbled across this house last night while driving through a part of the neighborhood I was unfamiliar with. In the dark I couldn't fathom exactly what I was looking at (heads? Jack-o-lanterns!), so I made sure to stop by the house with my sister today on our way to the flea market...

At first all the eye sees is the sheer number of colorful bucket-heads - three rows-full, completely surrounding the fence on homemade PVC pipe frames and intertwined with old-fashioned Christmas lights. Upon closer inspection we could see that many of the lantern buckets had been customized with different colors, with a light inside of each bucket-head!

Here's a view of the house beyond the pumpkin-head barrier...! More light-up pumpkins amongst towering stands of cacti! What you don't see is the graveyard right below and the deflated blow-up Halloween figures. See the tangle of extension cords in the lower left?

We were having so much fun inspecting every inch of this delightful house!! However I think we disturbed the occupants, one of whom came out and regarded me coolly after I said "Hey, cool house!" but sister scoffed and said to me "Look, with a house this crazy, they've got to be used to dealing with gawkers." I didn't feel too bad seconds after that reassurance, heh.

This is one of my favorite things - finding unusual/beautiful/passionately executed sites to explore with my sister. We'll spot the same things and then notice other details which we excitedly share with each other during and after the siting. Hooray for super awesome detours...!

all hallows eve

Happy Halloween! Here's to the best special day of the year...! I very much faltered in the costume/dressing up part this time around because I was so busy doing every other imaginable spooky October activity week after week. Apple picking, haunted house/maze frequenting, pumpkin carving, and probably the most concerts I've been to in a month all year. It has been a fun and exhausting whirlwind and it all ends tonight. Maybe next year I'll figure out a cool costume, as it's getting old that I'm going to be another generically spooky thing for the second year in a row. No big deal though! Hooray for fun, spooky shenanigans!

the lightning field

The Lightning Field, a land art work by Walter de Maria, is an array of 400 stainless steel poles, arranged in a 1 mile by 1 kilometer grid in a remote location in the southwestern high desert in New Mexico. It was erected in 1977 and, as evocative as its name is, doesn't incur as much lightning as one would expect.

The Lightning Field was my first introduction to art defining space. As a freshman taking my first architecture theory class I was assigned to research and report on this piece, and initially found myself skeptical of yet intrigued by it. It sounded so simple, reductive, arbitrary. Yet I found my ignorance dissolving away as I learned of the massive effort to scout for the perfect location, then surveying the undulations of the land in the final spot, as well as securing a fabricator who could form every pole - each one of a different height according to where it would stand in the earth, each one equipped with its own hand-machined, pointed tip.

As much as the Lightning Field is a careful exercise in space, scale, and perspective, none of these could exist without light. At dawn, the poles shine pale, clean and delicate. We awoke to a cloudy dawn, so the effect was subdued, but as we weaved through the poles and as the sun crept higher in the sky we could see the field start to disappear! Then as afternoon wanes and evening approaches, the poles reassert their presence, and as the sun sets every pole seems to catch on fire and the entire field lights up, and at a glance you can almost fully comprehend its massive scale.

When I gave my presentation on the Lightning Field all those years ago, I likened it to a "religious experience" - a pilgrimage of sorts since visits aren't all that easy to arrange; visiting season is kept to a few months out of the year, only six visitors are allowed at a time, photography of the work is not permitted (hrm, should I even be showing the photo above? conflicted), and each visit is kept to less than 24 hours total - just enough to hike around and allow one to view the work at the most dynamic times of the day. I described my visit as "sublime" to a few people, who snickered despite themselves, or politely nodded in confusion/incredulity/bewilderment. I know what I felt though, and having not been this moved by art for years, I only slightly regretted being unable to describe the experience succinctly, elegantly, when presented with an inquiry about the trip. It is humbling to realize that some things can't fully be described and documented in words, and that as cliched as it sounds, you need to experience it for yourself.

all along the I-40 east

My sister and I drove out to Arizona and New Mexico last weekend! Our main destination was the Lightning Field in NM, but along the way we stopped outside of Flagstaff to break up the drive. Time wasn't a luxury, but we managed to make all our stops while getting a seductive taste of the enchanting Southwest. It is magical, no question about it. I don't really know what it is, but it's inherent in the land. The light quality is arguably similar, if not the same as Southern California, which is largely desert as you go east, away from the beaches. Maybe it's the noticeable sparseness of the locale and the breathing room that affords, and knowing that you're outside of a big metropolitan area. Not to mention that some of the most badass and intriguing Native Americans lived on and with it, perhaps the magic comes from that history.

We stayed in an awesome little town called Williams AZ the first night. That afternoon we visited an outdoor drive-around wildlife park called Bearizona (!!!). As we drove through it (windows rolled up at all times) we saw bighorn sheep, mountain goats, bison, gray and arctic wolves, and black bears. It felt like Jurassic Park! Our feelings alternated between excitement and unease, as we couldn't figure out if this was more like a wildlife sanctuary or a zoo. Pretty sure it's the first one though, and it's not like these animals were captured on another continent and shipped here to satiate the curiosity of wide-eyed humans (I hope). I didn't get any shots of the animals I mentioned before, because I was driving, but in the walk-around part of the park I made sure to get a few shots of this snoozing lynx. I love big cats.

One of the best parts of the road trip was when sister spied piles of glass electrical insulators on the side of the road. We took a three mile detour, hopped out of the car and just wandered around this field of insulators, mouths agape and silent with excitement and wonder at our discovery. Had I not been collecting for years I think I would have gone crazy and filled my truck. But I just looked around carefully for models I didn't have and walked away with four. And yet I can't help but think that we'll be back.

On the way in we had noticed an abundance of chollas all along the highway, and a quick peek at the map noted that we were passing through the Bigelow Cholla Garden Wilderness. I wanted so badly to stop and wander around and admire the fuzzy glow of the teddy bear cholla, and got to do so on the way home, for a couple of minutes. Sure it was through the barbed wire fence on the side of the road, but when it came down to a trip this quick, I took whatever I could get.

new growth

Change is constant. Occurrences no matter how large or small are fluid, flowing things. Churning in our subconscious while we sleep, changing temperature and color through the smallest remark or a glance or a misplaced punctuation mark. Smoothed over with songs or quotes read out-of-context on a blog, or through a long conversation over coffee. Tendrils of a friendship start growing toward each other - perhaps they entwine and grow harmoniously, or maybe one chokes out the other as it thickens and matures and the other one recoils or refuses to explore and grow. Or they are simply incompatible and unable to coexist, and choose to grow in different directions, never looking back.

I won't see the plants above in a leisurely manner anymore by month's end, unless I go out of my way to visit that street to see the friend who will no longer be living there. And that's alright, because I got to admire it for some time! I keep going over the changes that have occurred in the past two months in my mind, and sift through the combinations: mundane and grueling with a gradual payoff, lovely on the surface but weak at the core, confusing and turbulent then suddenly clear and calm.

I'm tired after a long summer! Dreaming of green growth, trees, forests - an environment free of humans/urban life.

25

Things come and go, and some things when lost are missed more than others, but I think we all know this by now...! This thing pictured here is a vial of Cretaceous amber, 66.4 million years old, painstakingly gathered from layers of ash and gifted to me by somebody super awesome.

I've wanted a pair of Red Wings for ages, and finally decided to indulge in a pair earlier this month. Meet the Iron Rangers! Upgrading to an official job title plus reaching the quarter-century mark were good enough reasons for me! Also these have been a nice change from my worn-out (though still trusty) black Docs...

Two pictures of the same thing, because of all things to mess up of late it's autofocus. Luckily that error isn't indicative of anything more major in life, so here I am shrugging and moving forward. I like this new ring very much. Having recently gotten obsessed with Game of Thrones (super late to the show - no regrets!) and being a dragon myself (in the Chinese zodiac) made this an especially fun acquisition. Plus, adjustable rings that integrate that function into their overall form and looking badass at it make me weak in the knees.

I'm feeling rusty blogging-wise - is it dumb to attribute that to the loss of Google Reader...? I got pretty burnt out on reading and following blogs, and I feel like so many have fallen by the wayside, mine included. That's not all true though, some old trusty favorites are still super solid so I should shut my trap, but as I really think about it, I think it's me: I have gotten busier and so I kill less time over blogs, or a priority shift has me choosing to watch an episode of Thrones rather than wandering through the blog-o-sphere, hehehe. Life on the whole has been pretty eventful this entire summer, though the compulsion to document all that fell pretty flat for me, again. Photography doldrums again. But thankfully, blog life does not equal real life. Things are good on the whole. I hope the same for you, too.

hey there kiddo

Well hello! It has been a while, hasn't it. I hope the first half of summer has been good to you. It has been good to me, though in the most ironic and twisted ways possible. All I can say is I'm grateful I know rational, patient, compassionate persons who are understanding, and aren't too quick to write things off. I had a few quiet moments over the long weekend, of which I used to take care of my latest batch of kombucha (which had gone super vinegary with neglect), sewed a few more patches on a new old jean jacket (affectionally dubbed "Le Tigre" by friends) and listened to lots of music while making little changes at home. The rest of June beforehand was actually extremely exciting - caught up with many many old friends, cooked and dined amazingly with my best girl J, got a slew of new responsibilities at work, and generally felt the most like myself in those few weeks than I had felt in an entire year.

So even though the end of June felt like a gigantic riptide, the kind that thrashes you around without mercy or warning, I made it out! I couldn't have done it without a few special, precious people though. Amidst the confusion, panic and despair I incredulously realized how blessed I was to have the support of these people. So apart from learning a few lessons about myself and others in relationships, I really was able to see how much beauty there is in the world.

what's in my hand

Some leftovers from May! With the lengthening days I've been going for longer walks around the neighborhood; on many of these walks I've encountered bountiful mulberry trees laden with their juicy black fruit, and handful after sneaky handful I usually walk away with stained fingertips, berry-stained mouth, and a happy belly.

On one of these walks a few weeks ago I made this tiny posy as I turned a corner of a big old house on a big hill. Delicate daisies and sweet, heady jasmine, accompanied by a purply foxtail grass of some sort. The jasmine lasted the longest and filled my days with its beautiful scent - I'll remember that week of falling asleep to and waking up with jasmine filling my nostrils for years to come.

 

This is an old negative I found in a crazy messed-up house that I was surveying and drawing up for work on the side. Picture mid-century hoarders occupying a 1,300 square foot house for I don't even know how many years. I wish I had seen it in all its pack-rat glory (not really), but I saw (and smelled) the remnants and dang that was nasty.

Opium poppies. So many of these were slashed and oozing their sap that contains said opiates that I was a little suspicious. Totally beautiful still, whether it's the pods or the silky red dress-looking blooms.

Middle of the week, I still have lots to say. At a later time though. Happy Wednesday!

field trip - Kramer Junction, CA

Over the Memorial Day Weekend the lapidary group had a trip out to the Kramer Junction area between Mojave and Barstow. On the collecting list were dendritic agate, opalite, bits of petrified bog, onyx, and more agates like last time. In the middle of the day we stopped to view petroglyphs in a little canyon in I don't even know where - the last town we passed through before hitting back country was Hinkley, and hours and hours of driving up and down boulder-covered hills, dry lake beds and dusty, scrubby desert made me lose all sense of time and urgency.

Our first stop was Opal Mountain, to look for common opal in a range of milky-white to amber, to a dark honey color. Here I got to get extensive use out of my rock hammer for the first time, and I had a lot of fun looking for veins of opal and smashing at the surrounding rhyolite to free my finds. But after a while I slowed down to explore the rest of my surroundings. I noticed gem-like hues of lichen coating small rock/dirt outcroppings and regarded them as vast, microscopic alien worlds. I saw a cute little fishhook cactus with a bunch of pups and got pricked a few times admiring the bunch! I got lazy about taking pictures for most of this trip... When your center of balance is always slightly compromised by a rock bag/camera bag on pebbly surfaces that essentially act like a ball bearings-strewn landscape you really just want to be careful while having fun exploring, and then the camera kind of gets pushed to the side...!

 

We hit another agate field, viewed petroglyphs, and made the long dusty trek back to camp, where I parted ways with the other members and floored it back to LA, to see a good old friend I haven't seen in about a year and a half. The drive home was beautiful - there's a spot on the I-15 S that cuts through some mountains, and as the sun goes down, the mountains are dark and silhouetted; as you turn the curve and breeze downhill you get blasted with light, and I get this strange feeling of contentment at having had a full day of adventure that is then backed with an immediate desire to drive off and go on to the next adventure. I think of Bilbo Baggins saying "I want to see mountains again, mountains, Gandalf!" and I feel the same way, but I want to see mountains, forests, canyons, and other cities!

 
My haul this time was modest, but no complaints. Above, you see big chunks of agate that I would like to throw into the rock tumbler the next time I have a chance, as well as a few chips of honey opal. I found two dendritic agates, nothing impressive, but was happy to find more greenish specimens of agate, striped, translucent, milky and all. I only made it for 1/3 of the trip, but it was a great way to start the long weekend.

instagram

I was really opposed to joining Instagram when I finally got a smartphone over a year ago for all the reasons that, if I repeat now, just make me as insufferable and obnoxious as any soapboxer on Facebook shouting their opinion (though we're all entitled to our opinions!), but to get down to the crux of it I didn't really see the appeal of (A) yet another microblogging platform, and (B) another extreme way to attention whore/humblebrag/blatantly brag about your goings-on. But now, having been an Instagram user for about five months, my opinions have shifted a bit. Given who you follow, I see it more now as seeing the world through other peoples' eyes, which I guess anybody would say "DUH" to. Unfortunately I chose to regard this app negatively before giving it a chance, which is just a character flaw on my part. Better late than never they say.

Something that saddens me though is when I see a lapse of updates on a blog, only to investigate and realize that said blogger has been so busy with real life that updating has understandably slowed, but the effortlessness and ease of Instagram smoothly bridges that gap one faces with the clunkiness of blogging and the time it usually requires. I get it though, and (drumroll) perhaps I've been guilty of turning to Instagram instead of my blog lately too. But in my case I don't have hundreds or thousands of readers wondering what I must be doing!


And obviously, Instagram is fun. It brings people together (cheesy I know) - one of my best friends who has been off of Facebook for years had been on Instagram instead, so upon joining I feel that extra step of closeness that e-mailing kind of lacks! And another friend I made on the Internet asked me, a day or two after I joined, if I use Instagram, so we became friends there, too! :X


There have been tons of contemporary studies (none of which I can link you to) on the psychological effects of Facebook in that frequenting the site often invokes feelings of inadequacy/jealousy/all those terrible angsty feelings of being un-included, or not doing something fun/amazing like that person on your friends list, and overall makes you really dissatisfied with your own life/accomplishments. That's the worst of what happens I guess. For me I just feel a little wistful that the people I would really like to hear more updates from have wised up and rarely say/post anything on Facebook, or have abandoned it entirely! Inevitably I've been pulling farther away from Facebook, and realized that Instagram is a good stand-in, because when it's just pared down to pictures/hashtags, there's slightly less annoyingness present in users' posts (still on the fence about that statement).

This is really kind of an annoying entry in that I've been discussing a subject that has been diced and angled to pieces...and I apologize for it, but at least, true to the form and function of the application I'm talking about - you, the viewer, can let the words fade to the background and simply look at the pictures instead. 

And because I hate things without context/sources:

1. The Wiltern Theater (beautiful Art Deco building) & glowing hen&chick succulents (I filched one!)

2. An evening spent bike riding with my sister - RIDE OR DIE, and risky self-portraiture habits.

3. Last month was all about mint - plucking armfuls of it, drying it out, and storing it in glass jars for forthcoming weeks of mint tea, just like my grandma loves to do!

4. Documenting things at work, and a shot of Alcatraz from a friend who visited SF and sent me shots of the city coupled with quotes from the Rock, so good.

5. I've been going to lots of music shows too...this was Maps & Atlases at the Echo (!!!) and I never tire of seeing them. Then another shadow selfie that I snapped when I saw the proportion of shadow to light, that I liked.

Even though I've seemingly made my peace with Instagram, here's to hoping there's less of these kinds of posts and more...regular blog type of things on their way.

more drawings

Here are six of the drawings I was scrambling to finish over the past few weeks. I drew nine total, but didn't scan in the last three, which works out well because they would totally give away where I essentially grew up. I guess that statement is silly because I'm assuming I still have full anonymity here, but it's fun to pretend!

What else can I say? Three of these are schools, one is a park, and two are historically significant landmarks. The three I omitted are of yet another two schools, and a very special garden.

I had a lot of fun drawing these! I feel like I honed some skills on this exercise, but could further improve on values, texture, and not outlining too much/trying to include everything. My favorite trick was taking a break from architectural elements to focus on foliage and plant matter, and when I tired of that I would go back to the building with fresh eyes. I had many a night that I would groan in frustration every hour on the hour, but it's the good frustration, the one where you know you got yourself into this situation and it's all up to you to pull through and own up to your project and deliver it as powerfully as you can. Yes, it felt like undergrad studio again, which was 1000x more difficult/complex than this, so...by those standards, this project was no sweat.

by the way

you, I still miss.

analog blogging

Over the last few months I've taken to writing my thoughts down in a real journal again, when pouring out a river of personal thoughts is scandalously (hah!) inappropriate for the blog, or when a listening ear is hard to reach. I'm finding it increasingly difficult to depend on others for support, which is NOT to say I have crappy friends or acquaintances. I get that everyone's got their own thing going on (especially as most of the people I'm referring to are in their twenties), and it isn't that simple anymore to grab a close friend after lecture/studio/work and have a meaningful chat/heart-to-heart/venting session. And even in the face of others, sometimes I feel a little self-conscious about discussing certain issues, in fears of sounding like a whining, self-centered, immature adolescent. It's a little disconcerting when I can provide solace or advice to someone else when I feel like I could use more control over my own problems.

I may be being a little harsh on myself though. And I'm definitely being hypocritical/contradictory in talking about the trickiness of meeting up with others, when I've managed to meet up with J twice in the last several weeks. (I am very much being the unreliable narrator here, bear with me.) In our discussions J and I noticed that one trait we both share is being extremely critical of ourselves, and having high expectations for ourselves in every endeavor or task we're given/set on achieving. I don't mean to sound so lofty in that statement - I'm know a ton of people are like this. My point is, upon going back and forth in our conversation, she and I realized, from taking a few steps back and looking at ourselves, we are doing fine; but out of wanting more, faster - dissatisfaction quickly sets in, and all we can focus on is what can be improved upon.

Angsty thoughts aside, the act of slowing down and putting my rambling down to paper is really soothing. Sometimes when I feel like it I'll doodle a sketch alongside the writing. Some days it's a sketch and nothing else. I try to do one every day, but realistically it's more like every couple of days that I get something substantial down, when thoughts have been brewing and bubbling and are ready to boil over. Some days I know nobody really cares to know about a blooming bud of mine, or another tired criticism of L.A. culture, or that I think of and miss someone way more than I can bear to admit.

I'm alright though. These words reek of self-pity and despair, but I'm not as sad or bitter or negative as I seem. Maybe I'm taking myself a little too seriously, sure, but that pendulum of mine takes mighty swings between being utterly goofy and inane to almost Dostoevskian depths. I'm laughing at me too, now. Sometimes all it takes for me to snap out of this is to make fun of myself/let it all out. :)