for auld lang syne

All in all, an amazing year of being in new places, meeting new people (thus making new friends), re-connecting with old ones, keeping old bonds & making them stronger, learning from my mistakes and applying myself to activities and endeavors in positive ways.

Here's to always improving, having a good attitude, and working hard - but not just because it's the new year!

vegemite

Here are shots of my sister sampling a bit of Vegemite on toast! Tastes and smells a like a blend of ale and soy sauce. I guess that's what the whole yeast extract thing's all about. Oddly delicious! Courtesy of two visiting Aussies, friends of a friend.

sunday with mama

This morning, I sewed back on one of the gold buttons that had fallen off a brown cashmere cardigan (made in Scotland!) that I've been wearing constantly these days. Cashmere is soo cozy.

Walked the dogs, then went to the Fairfax flea market where, put-off by the lame boutique stalls and vintage clothing/shoe stalls overrun by eager hipsters, I moseyed over to a used-book stall, full of Bukowski, Kafka, Hunter S. Thompson, Huxley, Whitman... etc. all arranged in neat rows and labeled with awesome prices. I snapped up The Trial, as I had discussed Kafka with Dan last night, as well as Tropic of Cancer, which I've been looking for for months now. The vendor looked at the books I handed him and said "Wow! Isn't this something! You know what's crazy? Not too long ago a fella came by and bought these two exact books like you are right now! What d'you know about this one (he taps Tropic of Cancer)" I tell him "It was banned!" and he goes "Yeah! For ten years or so! That guy didn't know that so he bought it when I told him, haha." I have a plan now, to read my books and then go back every week for more! Screw cute vintage clothing/shoes/accessories - I'll go to the Salvation Army for that :)

Dan lent me this amazing tome (it holds 50 Janus films, obviously) of which I've watched about 1/10, which I'm going to devour starting tonight. I smell an end-of-year movie marathon - hooray!

breakfast on x-mas

Mushroom soup from last night's dinner and a mini pumpkin pie. Holidays = good food.

merry christmas!

1. My sister holding a picture of herself as a preschooler during Christmastime.
2. BB and Max hunting for treats.
3. Presents! Wrapped and ready for delivery.
4. More pumpkin pies! delicious...
5. A painting of BB and Max I made for my stepdad, he liked it!

I hope everyone is enjoying their Christmas/winter break/holiday season! The warmth of the holiday comes about by food, friends, family and dogs!

die, elf hat!

Some shots of Max wreaking havoc on the elf hat I put on him yesterday. Poor thing, I will never attempt to do that again! Christmas Eve was great, with last-minute shopping for mom, delivering gifts and cooking Christmas dinner! It feels weird that I have nothing to get done now, so maybe that's why I am blogging...

legacy(?)

I asked my mom where my old water polo parka was. She said that she gave it to a fellow teacher whose daughter in high school started taking up water polo this year. My old coach spotted it on her and asked her how she came about it. The girl explained, and he apparently told her "That's a legacy parka you've got there." I was stunned. I was never the most skilled player on the team, but I worked my tail off to improve, swimming all the sets, blocking shots, eggbeater-ing like there was no tomorrow. I made captain my senior year, which was a total surprise to me, but coach said I showed extraordinary passion and dedication, and that he wanted me to lead by example. Now that I think about it, that's all I really worked hard for during my time in high school. It'd be great to get that drive back for my upcoming endeavors. Just an interesting anecdote that made me think of deeper things.

4:32 am friday december 4th, 48ºF outside and I'm inside wearing a big baggy thermal, flannel pj pants, wooly socks, & oversized moccasins while wrapped in my snowflake fleece blanket. My digits are cold, my eyes bleary, I have a handful of renderings to show for my project but I'm still working on the technical drawings... damn. can you say unmotivated? designing all the way up to the last minute and still not really sure what this thing is about. this is going to be disastrous unless I crank out some good, solid diagrams but right now, all I can think about it curling up on the couch or on my bed for a quick little nap. my back hurts and my neck's stiff, a little nap can't hurt, right? time to set three alarms and after I finish this rendering maybe I will settle for a tiny bit of shut-eye...

thankful

1. Playing outside with my mom, sister and Westies.
2. Sauteed-to-a-golden-crusty-caramelized-goodness brussels sprouts, dusted with parmesan cheese
3. Dive with me into a sea of corn gratin. droool.
4. My Thanksgiving plate - clockwise starting from the top - two slices of Honeybaked ham (we are not a turkey family... next year maybe!), a heaping of corn, a handful of brussels sprouts, mashed yams, mashed potatoes, a stuffed mushroom, and pine nuts and green beans.

Mmm. I just had some pumpkin pie and I feel warm, full and disgustingly content. I will start the work I need to do tomorrow, after some Black Friday madness... goodnight.

preparing...

Brussels sprouts! I don't think I have ever tried them, so tonight will be the first time, eeek!

Red onions, sliced thin then deep fried to top our corn gratin...

Sleepy Max snapping awake after napping in a corner in the kitchen.

Mama woke up at 4:30 am (dogs woke her up) and since she couldn't go back to bed she baked the pumpkin pie HEHE.

Bacon bits and green onions, also for the corn gratin. Mmmm...

Yams soaking in water (?) but I don't think they have that much starch to leach out anyway...

The poopies woke me up at about 6:45 this morning. We tumbled into the kitchen with mom and started preparing for tonight's feast. It was wonderful to get out of a warm couch into a warm kitchen with energetic pups running about and mom cheerfully chopping and sauteing. More photos of the feast and home later...!

mmmm-my roots.

Yuk gae jang - shredded beef soup and the ultimate comfort food. I like the way my mom makes it - subtly spicy and a bit more sophisticated.

Dol sot bap. Rice and veggies/meat cooked in a stone pot. Hot!

I am so excited for Thanksgiving, you have no idea! Sometimes I wish we could have an all-out Korean feast like back in the day when my immediate family and I actually talked and gathered together. But nothing wrong with the good old staples - ham from Honeybaked (maybe turkey someday...), green beans, corn gratin, stuffed mushrooms, mashed potatoes... and usually that's it since our Thanksgiving gatherings are really small. The best part of Thanksgiving is cooking with my family. Sure the food is awesome but usually the time in the kitchen together, with the dogs running around our feet is really what makes this holiday so awesome.

the calm before the storm...!

Working on last-minute assignments before Thanksgiving break while at work watching the phones, and munching on all-natural chocolate chunk cookies and sipping green tea. Desperately trying not to catch anyone's cold by periodically washing my hands with hot water and soap with spurts of antibacterial hand sanitizer in between.

Walking around campus I'm seeing lots of students waiting for their rides to leave for home and it's making me excited to go home too! Usually Thanksgiving is the most stressful time for the fall semester because I have turn-in during that time, which will be next Friday, but I'm not going to let this project kill Thanksgiving for me!

Pink's tonight with my sister, then hopefully inspiration will strike and I'll work my little tail off for Wednesday. Then, home!

afternoon in j-town

Giant Robot exhibition at the Japanese American National Museum. We went initially to see the internment exhibition, which was heavy, so seeing cheerful art afterward was a blessing.

Exploring the gift shop. Make your own pinhole camera!

My name minus "-fuda."

I would have liked to bring home this little froggy fortune teller!

Finishing the day with a light sushi dinner.

I haven't seen Dan in two months; this afternoon we went to the Japanese American National Museum in Little Tokyo which he had to go to for his political science class. Afterward we got some sushi and caught up and made plans for sometime soon in the future.

:)

paper shredder

shredding unwanted files at work. it's fun, and therapeutic too!

sorry about them crappy photobooth pics

ennui/requiem

I can relate, except for me the T.V. isn't even on.

I don't care about much lately, I'm kind of numb and listless and passively floating through life and it disturbs me.

I have little to no motivation for school - I've received failing notices for two classes for poor attendance but fortunately there are easy countermeasures/ways to fix that shit. But even before I knew about those I didn't bat an eyelash at the notifications, whereas if I had gotten such notices a year or two previous I'd be freaking out. Actually who am I kidding, poor attendance wouldn't even have been an issue two years previous.

Work bores me. I go in, run a few errands, make copies, file papers, rearrange things. It's gotten to the point that I avoid actively engaging in conversation with (almost) anyone because I can't stand the thought of carrying on and pretending like I care while knowing that person doesn't really give a shit about me either/what I'm studying or what I want to do in life. I've decided to be a drone because it's simpler and better for my sanity.

I don't know what the hell is going on in studio. It interests me, kind of. I have no juice though, everything I produce is limp and lifeless and shallow and it threatens to collapse under my fragile past three years of core studio. Fuck you core studio, what did you teach me? Almost absolutely nothing. What the fuck am I doing here.

Also I am a shitty, shitty friend. Friends asked if I want to go to Vegas this weekend, I say maybe, then no. People invite me to meet them for drinks, I say no, don't have the money. One friend calls me, I think he needs someone to talk to. I answer but say I don't have time to talk, maybe later? Another asks me what I'm up to this weekend, last week. I still haven't responded. I just sent off a letter to a friend after four months of setbacks. The envelope was fat with paper, chock-full of drivel, post-adolescent musings and reflection. I hang out with the boyfriend, and he suggests fun things to do/new things to try and I feel bad when I reject them because I'm busy, or tired, or just not feeling it. I'm getting old, I feel.

The past two days I've drifted into a hazy sleep only to wake up to the horrifying sounds of Beatles on rockband. Soul-sucking. I wish I had gone to see a movie tonight but I opted not to, thinking I'd be doing some work for school instead, but I ended up doing nothing. I am a leech and a slug, parasitic on others and passive and inactive on my own end. I don't care about music, I don't care about movies, books I pick up only to put down after reading two or three pages. The only thing that really catches my eye of late is art, pure and simple, the only thing that made me feel productive was an ink drawing I made of a dog. My dreams are more vivid than real life so the only thing I treasure lately, is sleep.

Is it appropriate that I hear music drifting off the Row from Requiem For A Dream? Sounds from one of the most terrifying, harrowing films I've ever watched. It's telling me to wake up and do something instead of sitting here wasting away and whining about it.

Well, it could be worse. I'm not dying, just bored and experiencing a giant personality shift. and can't sleep.

happy 19th!

Dear Sistersaur,

Happy 19th birthday! I know this is sort of a nothing age, but you are reaching the years of "real" adulthood much faster than you think, so enjoy youth while you are there!

Since I know you are a lass of refined and particular tastes, (and because there is no way in hell I can afford anything crafted by Ann Demeulemeester/Rick Owens) I can only humbly offer to treat you out to a day of thrifting/flea market adventuring where you could hopefully find a leather jacket/boots/metal trinkets that your heart would so desire. (Let's do that soon.)

Or, I'll just provide you with your own personal herd of wild buffalo. An endless supply of meat + leather, fur & cuddles!

And of course, because after all this gallivanting you will thirst like a heathen, I will procure a bottle of Jack to help quench your thirst.

Happy Birthday Y, I wish you an amazing one. ♥

last night with nate & stella

Last year Nate and I started a tradition between ourselves of going up to the top of one of the buildings on campus with a six pack of Stella Artois to share, to savor or guzzle up in the late night air while talking about ourselves, our thoughts and feelings, what any college student or person with feelings would talk about to another person out in the open sky. Up on that rooftop I realized that he is one of a few people I truly trust and believe in, which is funny because when I first made his acquaintance I thought he was seriously too obnoxious and ridiculous to ever become friends with. So last night with another pack of Stella we went to that building and lo and behold, it was completely locked. With no way to go up we made do with one of the cave-like spaces of the old cinema building, and after sitting and chatting in our hideout for two hours, we broke into the music school and jammed in one of the practice rooms on the pianos - Nate playing and me singing along. It was perfect.

typewritten

an irreparable tear caused by the letter "c"

Just a few weeks ago a poster tube arrived at my home, but by then I had already moved in and started school. The sender was none other than Max, and he'd meant to have it in my hands before I started classes, but since I missed it, I didn't get to open it for another week until my sister brought it to me from home. I opened the tube and inside there were two pieces of paper - one small lined leaf torn from a little notebook and one continuous six page length of old accounting spreadsheets, carefully rolled up and nursing a tear. 6 typewritten pages condensing the last 9 and 1/2 months since I last saw him.

You crazy bastard, now you respond to me!