postcards to faraway friends

I've had a slew of overdue letters to write to friends in far-off places (not really though - they're all on the same continent as me), but lacking the time (tsk tsk) and attention span to sit down and write thoughtfully, I figured I ought not to write, than to write half-heartedly. This has always been a struggle for me, in many parts of my growing-up life, but I think it's worse to not attempt something for fear of not reaching perfection than to try, even a little half-heartedly, and churn something out.

Several nights ago I had a few scraps of bristol board left over from an ongoing project, so I cut them into 4x6 rectangles and began doodling. For some reason I felt compelled to draw eyes, which I haven't really done actively since what, high school? And upon finding a new favorite tumblr that same night, and seeing all these moody, contemplative landscapes scrolling right in front of me, I referenced many of those images as I placed enormous eyes all over them. These drawings were more like exercises, as I was switching from light-to-heavy hands or vice versa, realizing how much patience is required for GOOD stippling, and trying but not-trying-hard-enough to successfully render water. I have much to improve on! It was fun, though. After finishing a handful of these drawings I flipped them over and started dashing off thoughts and questions and updates to send to friends in New York, Connecticut, Texas, and good old California.

   

It's funny and sad as I realize that a few people I had considered close friends with here are ones I'm no longer on speaking terms with - whether that happened from unfortunate miscommunications/conflicts of interests/outgrowing each other, amicably or not-so-amicably. I remember having a conversation with one of these friends a year or so ago and it was so twisted, for we spoke to each other about how our best friendships or meaningful connections are scattered all over the country/globe and are everywhere except here in LA, right to each others' faces, haha. I guess by then I should have known that that person and I were hanging on for no real reason other than longevity/not wanting to feel alone. Anyway, my thoughts on that have changed - I maintain those meaningful connections outside of LA, and have a small but amazing handful of people I've been growing to know better, and hope to nurture lasting friendships with here as well. So I guess it is time for me to make more postcards, to send to these not-so-faraway friends, to remind them that I am thankful to have them in my life, regardless of how often I get to see them.